mother: if you are passed in your class i will give you Rs100.00 . son:mom i saved our Rs 100. mother:how? son:i am failed!

why was cinderalla not accepted in the foot ball? because she kept running away from the ball

SITA, RAM hai to SITA kaun hai? socho socho...... oye yaar, SITA memory hai. [ RAM = random access memory ]

Where do birds go to drink coffee? Ans: To nest-cafe

can u tell me the name of the girl who pushed her father from the top of a building ? ans: PUSH-PA

how can u convert sambar into gold ? add 22 carrots.

Q- what do you call a spaceship that lands on the sun? A- an UNIDENTIFIED FRYING OBGECT. Q- what do you get if you cross your brain with elastic? A-a real stretch of the imagination. Q-why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? A-because he had no body to go with.

SERVANT:SIR PLZ WAKE UP ! SIR:WHAT? SERVANT:A THIEF IS IN OUR HOME ! SIR:TELL HIM TO COME TOMMOROW!

Padma:What is the meaning of "Coincidence"? Priya:Funny,I was going to ask you the same question!

Why did the baby strawberry cry? -- Because his parents were in a jam!!!!!

television anouncer - What are the chances of a shower today ? whether man - If you really need one , you can go ahead and take it.

Q:WHAT DOES A WINNER LOSE IN A RACE? A:HIS BREATH!!

Q What is the name of the daughter of fortune? A Miss--fortune!

a man who fell down on the road said "call me an ambulance....please call me an ambulance!" a passer by said "ok you are an ambulance!"

"what do lazy dogs do for fun?" "chase parked cars!!"

Customer: Give me a mousetrap and quick. I have to catch a train. Shopkeeper: But we do not have anything that big!

Q.How do you get rid of a bommerang? Ans.Throw it down a one way street.

Q.Why did the jelly wobble? Ans. Because it saw the Milk-shake

how do you start a teddy bear race ready teddy go

an engineer died and was sent to hell by mistake. hell was very uncomfortable for him so he installed airconditioning,flush,toilets and many other convieneces in it . oneday god phoned satan to ask how everything was in hell great repled satan our engineer have made everything perfect . what!an engineer thundered god that engieneer should be sent to heaven or i will held atrial. oh really replied satan where would you find a lawyer

what do you get if you cross a teacher and a vampire? a: blood tests

Teacher: Can you tell me something about Raja Ram Mohan Roy? Saradji: They were 4 best friends..!

Once a Sardar was walking and had a glove on one hand and not on other so the man asked him why did he do so? He replied that the weather forecast announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would be hot.

. Sardar comes back to his car & finds a note saying "Parking Fine" He writes a note and sticks it 2 pole "Thanks for the complement"

What do you call a man who has eaten a bat? BATMAN!
What do you get if you cross a dragon with a cat? A SCARY CAT

A man went to a restuarent and ordered a pizza...He said"Waiter,Cheese is bad for health....Wait! Even bread and chicken has calories...So, avoid them.The waiter served him tomatoes and said"Very healthy! Sir......!!!!!!!!!!!

which is the most ancient animal? sochoo... zebra.... pucho kyun? b'coz itz black n white.....!!!

son : who are the ones who go to heaven even after comitting a lot of murders. mother : dont know. son : Doctors!

a woman: i can read your mind john: oh yeah? show me! the woman reads his mind and says:unbelievable! you dont have anything in your mind!

Teacher:I am p.h.d you all know that can anyone tell me what it stands for? Back Bencher:Passed High School with great Difficulty

ram: my camera is not zooming . what should i do? shyam: sing a song. ram: which song? shyam: zoom barabar zoom barabar....

how does the sea say hello? ANS: by giving a little wave. what is the best thing you put in a cake? ANS: your teeth! what do you call two spiders on honeymoon? ANS: newly webs.

johny:sam, if u tell me how many eggs are in the basket, i will give 8 of them to u. if u tell me it belongs to which animal, i will give the hen to u.COME ON ANSWER! sam: oh,at least give me a hint.

First man to the God-Oh God give a room filled with gold
Second man to the God-Oh God give me a room filled with silver
Third man to the God-Oh God give me the keys of those rooms

Teacher:who climbed everest first?
Ram:there were 11 people
Teacher:How?
Ram:Hilary and Ten singh

There was once a man who was selling his horse but he didn't want to because to make it go, you had to say thank god and to make it stop, you had to say tom cruise.There was this one other man who wanted to buy a horse so he tried it.The man who was selling the horse told the other man everything about the horse so the man on the horse started by saying thank god and the horse started moving.The man on the horse rode for a few minutes until he saw cliff.The man forgot what to tell the horse to make the horse stop.Tommy Hilfiger?What was the name?Then he got it.Tom Cruise!The horse stopped.The horse stopped about one foot away from the cliff.The man on the horse said,"thank god we didn't fall off the cliff".THUMP!The end

A sardarji went to a STD/ISD PCO and slapped the operator twice. Guess why? a. Beacause there it was written, Number dail kerne se pehele do lagae

Once a chicken married a mosquitoe. guess what happened? the next day the chicken died due to malaria and the mosquitoe died due to bird flue.

How can we boil the oil? By adding B to it